Cars are meant to be driven

Cars are meant to be driven

A few years ago, a friend of mine was moving across country. She was planning to drive — all the way from Iowa to California — so that she’d have her car out there for her new job.

“That’s a lot of miles to put on your car, though,” I said, doing my best impression of a rational adult.

“Yeah–”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Well, cars are meant to be driven.”

This concept blew my mind. “You’re right,” I said. “You should totally drive.”

I have this tendency in my life to save things. I wear my crummiest clothes around the house and out running errands while I save my newer, trendy, I-actually-feel-good-in-this clothes for “going out” or “seeing people”.

Going out and seeing people are things I rarely do. So most of my life is spent in clothes that aren’t that great. Meanwhile my more interesting clothes eventually go out of style having hardly gotten any wear.

My family and I tend to save the tastiest food for each other — everyone’s afraid to take the last piece of cake for themselves. But what happens when we all do that is that the cake eventually goes moldy and has to be thrown out.

I rarely burn candles because I want to save them to have, since I enjoy burning candles so much.

Just as cars are meant to be driven, clothes are meant to be worn, food is meant to be eaten, and candles are meant to be burned.

I just thought of another example: last night I was KonMari-ing my beauty products and as I was sorting through my nail polish collection I realized 1) how many I have, 2) how incredibly old some of them are, and 3) how 6 days out of 7 I sport chipped nail polish because I feel like redoing it more frequently would be wasteful and that I’d go through nail polish too frivolously.

The cheapskate’s dilemma

I do think my frugality plays a massive role here. The more I use something, the more I’ll have to buy to replace it. The more I wear my cute clothes around the house, the more they’ll get washed and worn and become pilled, and have to be replaced.

But also, what if that outfit would have been perfect for a hypothetical event that likely will never exist, but by then I’ll have ruined it by spilling the juice I don’t drink on it? Then what? Then I’ll really be sorry.

There’s a great video by Youtuber and ex-image-consultant Mimi Ikonn where she addresses the tendency to save clothes.

You can skip ahead to 1:54 for the part most relevant to this post, but you have the 6.5 minutes, so just watch the whole thing.

Mimi says:

What I realized is that you can’t keep these clothes for “special occasions” because every single day is that special occasion. Every day you’re alive you should be presenting your best self to the world and the world in return rewards you with new opportunities, a better mood, and just a better energy overall.

Life is meant to be lived

I didn’t intend for this post to go the direction of clothes and products, but I guess I didn’t have a specific direction in mind.

I think my point is, don’t be afraid of living your life. Dress well today; burn that candle you love today. If you fill your life and your space with things that spark joy, you might as well actually let yourself enjoy them.

 

What’s something you’ve been saving?

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I’m finally living

I’m finally living

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had the mentality that “once ___ happens, then I’ll be happy”.

Once I graduate high school, then I’ll be able to live the life I want.

Once I’m done with college and have a career, then my life will really start.

Once I meet the right person, I’ll be all set and I can stop stressing all the time.

Once I get out of this town, I’ll finally be happy.

I’ve heard it said for marriage and having kids, too. Add retirement to that list and basically we can assume that we’ll never be happy as long as we’re attaching our happiness to some external event or achievement.

I’ve known that this was a bad mentality for awhile, but that didn’t change the fact that I still felt that way. I still wasn’t happy in my day to day life, and I felt my life was lacking until I could just get that next thing I wanted.

But, I’m pleased to say that I no longer think my life is lacking. In fact I really like my life and I think it’s pretty awesome. I often take moments to appreciate it and I feel what I would describe as true happiness and gratitude. In fact, something less-than-great happened recently, and yet despite feeling a decent amount of sadness about it, I have also continued to feel gratitude for all the other areas of my life that are majorly winning right now.

What comes first, appreciation or awesomeness?

I don’t know. I don’t know where to pinpoint when my life started being awesome and when I started realizing it. Did the awesomeness increase once I started appreciating what I already had? Or did my gratitude only grow once things started going my way?

I do know that practicing gratitude is something that completely changed my life, and I can credit implementing that practice to my religious conversion a year or so ago.

But something that also changed was that I took my life into my own hands and made the changes I wanted. There was a time a few years back when I realized I didn’t have any hobbies anymore. How did that even happen? It was a sad thing to realize. But even once I did, I couldn’t bring myself to start any again, because none of them seemed appealing.

I wish I could say how I found interest in them again, but I honestly don’t remember. Did I just start doing them and fake it til I made it? Maybe.

I now play piano often, and I get so much satisfaction and self-worth from the progress I make. I have been learning Spanish on Duolingo for probably a year now, and just recently started reading some Spanish texts using Readlang (I highly recommend both of these, and they are free!) I’m in a book club now, and reading more. I’m following some interests via blogs and subreddits (like minimalism, veganism, and tiny houses) and I started blogging again! It feels great to be learning and exercising that part of my brain. I have such a love for learning that I almost forgot I had.

I live at home with my parents and my dog, in small town Iowa. For years I was ashamed to admit that. For years I craved the excitement of life in the big city and all the lights and noise and expenses that come with that lifestyle. Now that’s the furthest thing from what I want.

Meeting more people in town and making friends and joining different groups (church, a group for Young Professionals, book club) and going to events (the local radio show’s monthly cooking demo, the farmer’s market) has given me a new appreciation for this little town of mine. Plus I’ve gotten closer with friends here, who are literally incredibly amazing. I am so grateful for them, and I have no idea how I am lucky enough to have them in my life.

With the exception of a couple people who were out of town for awhile, all these people, events, groups, and hobbies have been here, this whole time. What changed is me.

I’m already living my life

I used to be so caught up on reaching my destinations, I completely forgot to enjoy the journey. It’s not even that I forgot, I just didn’t find the journey appealing. But now I do.

I still don’t have “a career”. I’m not dating anyone. I have no idea what my life will look like a month from now let alone five years down the road. Uncertainties which once made me uneasy are now just a part of life that will happen when they happen, if they happen, and I’m sure they’ll be great. And if they’re not, I’ll change them.

I can finally say that I’m enjoying the journey, come what may. There are so many opportunities available in the world. I can take them if I want to.

But the other thing I realized, is that it’s okay that I usually don’t want to.

Mark Manson wrote an article called Why Some Dreams Should Not Be Pursued. And what he said really resonated with basically everything I’ve ever “wanted”:

For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a musician — a rock star, in particular.

But despite fantasizing about this for over half of my life, the reality never came. And it took me a long time to figure out why.

I didn’t actually want it.

There’s a reason I haven’t moved out of this town. There’s a reason I haven’t climbed some corporate ladder. There’s a reason I haven’t gone husband hunting and gotten myself some kiddos.

I don’t want to. Not right now, anyway. I’m totally open to the idea that some day I’ll want to move away or make some different life choices. But right now, those aren’t the things I want. And that’s okay.

The freedom that comes from letting go of the pressure to have these things is extraordinary.

Simple living isn’t mediocrity

Between my recent endeavors with minimalism and self-acceptance sans superficial accoutrements, I’ve really gotten into this simple living thing. I realized I can get by with so much less. That applies to what I spend my money on, but also what I spend my time, energy, and stress on.

For so long, I feared a life of mediocrity. There’s some quote about how a life of mediocrity is worse than failure. I’ve always lived a simple life (although I didn’t have the language to identify with that movement until recently), and I always mistook it as a life where I just didn’t do anything. I wasn’t really living.

The fact that I hadn’t traveled around Europe or gone the typical American route of the stressful 9-5 must have meant my life was lacking. Even the fact I couldn’t bring myself to wake up an hour earlier to curl my hair and put on false eyelashes meant that there was something seriously wrong with my priorities.

I can hardly type that sentence without laughing now.

This isn’t a life of mediocrity. It’s a life of meaning. It’s a life of simplicity. It’s a life that doesn’t drown out things of value with meaningless distractions.

It’s a life I love. It’s a life I’m grateful for. It’s a life I’m designing and perfecting as I go. And it’s completely okay that I don’t know where it leads. I kind of like it better that way.

 

What’s something you “should” want but don’t? Have you let go if it yet?

Permanence is scary and that’s why Mormons are so chill all the time

Permanence is scary and that’s why Mormons are so chill all the time

Permanence is scary.  The idea that you’ll be trapped in this town, or in this marriage.  Or that if you take that job you’ll probably be stuck in that field for the rest of your life.  Or that things won’t change and you’ll never find a life partner.  If things suck, we don’t want them to stay sucking.

Death is an especially terrifying event.  Once a friend is gone, she’s gone.  Guns are bad because they can make someone permanently disappear with the pull of a trigger.

Unless of course you believe in heaven, and especially in forever families.  Mormons believe that eventually we will all die and be reunited with all our loved ones in heaven.  So really, any mortal separation is only temporary, and while that’s sad, it’s all okay because it’s not permanent.  A child could die by a freak accident and if his parents are Mormon, while I’m sure they will be absolutely devastated, they will also feel a sense of peace about the event because, hey, they’ll see him again one day and get their second chance to raise him in heaven.

With beliefs like this, what’s there to fear in life or death?

For those who don’t share those beliefs, life events carry a lot more weight.  Our decisions and actions and misfortunes can determine the rest of our existence, and the existence of others.  There is no second chance and there is no do over.  If you mess up, you mess up. The fear of the theoretical consequences can be stifling for some, and the paralysis of fear is all too real.

There’s a stereotype with Mormons that they do a lot of things. Accomplish a lot of things. Succeed in said things. I think to succeed requires a certain degree of risk taking. People with fear paralysis tend to be bad at risk taking. People who believe they will always have a second chance have nothing to worry about.

At what point does it matter how the universe actually works, when a belief system continuously produces confident people who are successful?  Which is more important: truth or taking action? As we lay on our death beds (believing we will soon go to heaven or not) what will we prioritize in the life we just lived?  The things we did or the things we believed?

Make All Your Dreams Come True

Make All Your Dreams Come True

A few months ago I went to my first ever Stake Youth Conference.  It was amazing.  One of the workshops was so profound that it literally changed my life, and I’d like to share it with you.  It was taught by a returned sister missionary (whose name I forget, unfortunately) and it was called Make All Your Dreams Come True.  At first I thought the name sounded a bit floofy if you will, but it turned out to be one of the most practical tips I’ve yet heard.

She started by sharing a quote by C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

-C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

First of all, this quote so beautifully describes the human experience.  Secondly, what a lovely concept that God Himself lives in us.  Thirdly, isn’t it so accurate that we underestimate our potential and forget that it is indeed divine, yet God sees a much more promising future for us?

The sister teaching the lesson’s first suggestion was to pray that Heavenly Father will show you your potential.

Then she drew a large Venn diagram (those two slightly overlapping circles) on the board.  Above the left circle she wrote “What we want” and above the right circle she wrote “What God wants”.  In the middle therefore is what both we and God want.

She had the class offer ideas of what might go in the left circle.  Things that we pray daily for:

  • protection
  • health
  • sleep
  • good grades
  • to feel loved
  • goals
  • college
  • mission

These can be things that we want but aren’t sure if God also wants them for us, or if they are right for us.

Then in the middle area, the class thought both we and God would want for us:

  • keep commandments
  • be Christ-like
  • faith
  • patience

Then she went over to the right circle.  No one could think of things that God would want for us that we wouldn’t also want.  Then she wrote one word on the board: Trials.  For me, that blew my mind.  I guess I hadn’t really thought before that all the “bad” things that happen to me, God actually wants to happen.  All the difficulties, all the tough life lessons, all the sad things, some of which I have overcome and some not.  They have all been wanted for me by my Heavenly Father.

Now just to clarify, God wants trials for us because we learn and grow from them.  He doesn’t want them because He wants to harm us; quite the opposite.

She finished out the list as follows:

  • trials
  • tithing
  • sabbath day holy
  • difficult commandments to follow

Next, as if our minds weren’t blown enough already, she said that the purpose of prayer is alignment.  She motioned pushing the circles together to overlap completely and create a single circle.  The goal of prayer is to align the two circles so they are one.  The only person who has done this, she said, is Christ.

Now if THAT wasn’t enough to change my perspective on existence forever, she continued.

When we ask for things in alignment, she explained, then we are asking things God can actually answer.

For example, if we ask God for something like to never have another trial ever, or to get married right this instant, or to help us achieve a goal that isn’t meant for us, He wont give it to us.  And then how do we feel?  Sometimes confused, sometimes frustrated or angry.

But, if we aren’t sure yet if what we are asking for is something God also wants, then how can we avoid this?

And here’s where she gave us one of the most practical tips I have ever heard:

First, ask God for something.  Then say “but if not” and then ask for an alternative.

So often we ask for things and don’t give a second choice, so to speak.  And if God wont give us what we ask for, it feels like our prayer just went unanswered and we got nothing.  But if we ask for an alternative, God is then able to give us something.

prayer formula of sorts:  1 + “but if not” + 2

examples:

  • “help me to get married, but if not, help me to have faith in Thy plan for me”
  • “help me to get a good night’s sleep tonight, but if not, help me to have patience with my kids tomorrow”
  • “help me to pass my test tomorrow, but if not, help me to understand how I can study better for the next one”

Pray not to have your circumstances changed but that you in your circumstances might be changed.

After this workshop, I immediately put this tip into practice.  I found that it not only comforted me — as I saw that even if I didn’t get what I deemed in the moment to be a necessity, it would be okay because there could be another great outcome besides my original choice — but it also helped broaden my perspective.  It reminded me to trust Heavenly Father’s love for me by remembering that He only chooses things He knows are best.  It helped me realize that my situation wasn’t nearly as dire as I thought, and that everything would work out just fine one way or another.

I am so grateful for that sister missionary and her amazing grasp of the gospel.  I am also so grateful I chose to go to that lecture over another.  I hope you gained as much as I did from this lesson, and that if you did, you choose to pass it along to someone else, too.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way

Lead, follow, or get out of the way

My workplace had a staff development workshop this week. It was led by Jim Bagnola.  He had a lot of great things to say, but here are just a few quick takeaways:

If you think you’re a leader but no one is following, you’re just taking a walk!

Lead, follow, or get out of the way

If you don’t have a good/better idea, follow

“Here’s what you can improve” can be reworded as “here are your opportunities”

Youth Conference 2015 was incredible

Youth Conference 2015 was incredible

This weekend was Youth Conference, which is an annual weekend event for boys and girls ages 14-18 put on by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  This was my first year attending, and I attended as a Young Women leader for the youth from my ward (ie congregation).

The conference was amazing.  It was 2.5 days of workshops, activities, meals, and dances.

I got teary one night at one of the dances just watching the kids, seeing how happy they were.  They were all having such a good time.  And it was wholesome fun.  I don’t know if I was comparing it to the school dances I remember and the things teenagers used to do back then or what, but just watching them have so much fun that night was so beautiful to me.  And then looking back on the day and remembering all the things they were taught in the workshops – ideas and perspectives that I wasn’t taught until I joined the Church at age 26 – it was just so beautiful to see.

And the group was so inclusive.  They had a talent show and also performed skits in their teams, and one thing that stood out to me was that while someone was performing, the room was silent.  And then when they finished, everyone got an equal amount of roaring applause.  I remember talent shows back when I was in school and people would be talking during the acts.  The popular kids would get roaring applause and everyone else would get a mediocre clapping just to show necessary politeness.  It was amazing at this Youth Conference to see everyone get such a huge applause.  This group of kids was so loving.  Like nothing I’ve ever seen before in my life.

And they were all such good kids.  You could see it in their eyes.  And in their smiles.  Never have I been around a group like this.  It was truly an incredible thing to experience.

I attended a few of the workshops and I learned things and gained new perspectives myself.  We all benefitted from them greatly.  And the Spirit was so strong there.  Especially on the last morning, at the testimony meeting.  One by one the youth got up to share their experiences from the weekend.  This was completely by their choice, and I’d guess probably at least half of them got up to say something.  It was a powerful meeting to say the least.  One girl in particular, gave the most captivating testimony.  It was truly the Spirit speaking through her.  It was one of the more powerful addresses I’ve ever heard – and here she was, a 15 year old.

I am so glad I went, and so grateful I was able to witness it.  It was remarkable and I will always remember it.  I am so grateful that Youth Conference is something available to kids.  Things like this where kids can connect with like-minded people who share their values and where they can be uplifted together are so valuable and important, especially at this stage in their lives.  I really have a lot of respect for Youth Conference and I value it greatly after experiencing it and seeing what it provides for our youth.  I am just so, so grateful.

Dear Shaytards (My Conversion Story)

Dear Shaytards (My Conversion Story)

Dear Shaytards,

One night after Institute, we sat around chatting and asked the Elder who was here on exchanges where he’s from.  “Pocatello,” he said.  My ears perked up.  I leaned forward so as to see Elder Hensley down the row and I asked, with low expectations, “Do you know the Shaytards?”

To my surprise he said he did, at which point I undoubtedly embarrassed myself with my enthusiasm (what else is new) and we got to talking about it.  Everyone else in the room already knew me by then and had each already been asked by me if they knew you guys, or knew of you.  It’s seriously (not seriously) like the second thing I’ve asked every Mormon I have met.  So I think at this point we were all excited that someone finally said yes.  I told Elder Hensley my conversion story and the major role you guys played in it, and he offered to send a letter to you if I wanted to write one.  So, while this is one of the more intimidating letters I have ever sat down to write, here goes!

I started watching your vlogs two VidCons ago, after you were in Tanya Burr’s vlog, I think.  I was instantly hooked.  This was, what, a year and a half ago, and I haven’t missed a single vlog since.  I was instantly struck by how different your family is – how loving, how energetic, how full of life.  I think I doubted your reality the first few vlogs I watched.  I had never – and still have never – seen any family like you.  My family is loving and all that, but nothing like yours.  We tend to keep our love for each other left to the imagination (haha).  I definitely know it’s there, but we don’t express it so outwardly as you guys.  And that’s something about you that I found fascinating – and still do, really.

After probably a week or two of watching you guys, I learned that you belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I remember thinking, “But… they’re so cool.”  At that time, the only things I “knew” about the Church were all sorts of misconceptions.  Seeing how epic you guys are definitely made me confused, so I was inspired to google the Church, at which point I discovered that not everything one learns on South Park is accurate.  I thought, “Oh, this religion is actually pretty cool.  But it’s not for me.”  (I was a pretty passionate atheist at the time.)  I was always curious about your one-take Sundays when there you’d all be in your church clothes, and you all seemed so happy.  And often times you’d talk about what you discussed in church that day.  I enjoyed passively learning about it.  And every few months, something you’d say, Shay, would really strike me and I would be inspired to do a bit more research online.  “That’s really cool.  But it’s not for me.”

This happened maybe three times over that first year.

Also during that time – and here I am having lived in Iowa for the last 10 years – I had been wanting to move back to California.  Seeing the palm trees in your vlogs certainly strengthened that desire.  But then this summer you guys moved back to Idaho.  And I realized that 1) Idaho is insanely beautiful, and 2) mountains are insanely beautiful.  So, unhappy with Iowa, and scared of the California prices, I starting browsing housing prices in Idaho, just for fun.  Not bad.  I think I checked out Utah next.  Mountains are pretty indeed.

Then, I, completely jokingly, had the thought, “Maybe I should move to Idaho or Utah and become a Mormon or something.”  (I kid you not.)  And then I was like, “…Maybe I SHOULD move to Idaho or Utah and become a Mormon.”  (Insert wide-eyed expression here.)  I think it was at this same time that I had the realization that if I did move there, I’d probably get along really well with all the Mormons there, because my lifestyle was so similar.  In fact, I couldn’t believe that I had only just then made the connection that there were in fact other people who lived the way I did – and better even.  “But, Mormonism isn’t for me because I’m still an atheist.”

Also at this time, I had the very new thought that maybe I don’t know as much as I think I do, about the existence of God or lack thereof.  And I thought back to one of the first videos of yours I watched, which was you, Shay, in a hotel room talking about how if you get to heaven and God says Buddhism is the way to go, you’ll become a Buddhist.  I think it was also in that video that you were saying that we don’t know the complete truth of the universe but that your beliefs make you happy so you’re sticking with them (paraphrasing).  Back when I first watched that, I was very impressed with your humbleness about religion, by the way.  And that very honest, real, yet hopeful perspective had stuck with me since.

So anyway, there I was standing in my kitchen and I had the realization that I’m not going to know either way if God/heaven exists until I’m actually there or I’m not.  And therefore no amount of study and research on the matter will get me any closer to knowing – I just have to wait.  And I realized that I had two choices: either continue living my life as an atheist, waiting until I die to know for sure; or live my life as a Christian (or any number of religions, in theory) waiting until I die to know for sure.  And this realization really took me off my high horse.  And opened my mind to the possibility that maybe God does exist.

I recognize that this letter is getting really long so I hope this story is interesting!

It was also at this time (so yes, the completely random thoughts to move to Idaho/Utah, to become a Mormon, and that maybe I don’t know as much as I thought, all happened in the span of a few days, as I remember) that I became suddenly SO INTERESTED in the Church.  Like, SO interested.  Out of nowhere.  Again, I had been interested before, and researched for a half an hour here and there, but that was nothing like this.  I researched online for 2-3 hours every night for two weeks straight.  I loved everything I read.  And I was fascinated.  Is it possible that God exists?  And that He loves us?  Does heaven exist and can we actually live together with our families, in one giant family, with our loving Heavenly Father?  Was Jesus real?  Is He actually there now, and can He affect our lives?

I had the thought, “I want to join this church.”  Then, realizing I had gotten ahead of myself, “Maybe I should go to church sometime, and, like, read the Book of Mormon first.”  (Haha.)  So, that Sunday, I… chickened out.  (I had been to church maybe 5 times in my entire life at this point, 4 of which were before the age of 10.)  But the following Sunday I went!  I was sooooo nervous.  I told myself on the way there, “I’m not going to sign anything, I’m not going to meet with the missionaries, I’m not going to commit to anything.  I’m just going to show up, this one time, get myself a free copy of the Book of Mormon, and if I never want to come back, that’s fine.”  I didn’t pay attention to anything in Sacrament meeting because I was sitting there thinking, “What am I doing here, why did I come here, I don’t belong here, I’m so out of place.”  But then afterwards (and briefly before, too) I met some of the nicest people I have EVER met in my entire life.  Everyone was so interested in why I was there and how I heard about the church.  (Yes, I mentioned you guys!)  I met the two missionaries, Elder Brooks and Elder Kilpatrick.  They helped me with where to go the next two hours.  Then there was a potluck afterwards that they and a few other people invited me to stay for, and I thought, “Why not.”  It ended up being a great opportunity to chat with some people.

After the potluck Elder Kilpatrick found me again and asked if I’d like to meet with them sometime.  Remembering full well that I told myself I was not going to meet with them, I thought, “Sure, why not?”  (Oh, the power of inviting!!)  We set up an appointment for Tuesday afternoon.  I left church still amazed at the kindness and friendliness and love I had experienced from the complete strangers I had met there.  And I thought to myself, “I want to come back.”  I didn’t even care if I believed in the doctrine at that point – I wanted to come back for those people.

So, I met with the Elders on Tuesday, ready with the giant list of questions I had come up with and written down over the last two weeks while researching.  Giant lists of questions proved to be my pattern throughout the lessons.

At the end of that first lesson, Elder Kilpatrick told me that September 13th seemed like a good day for my baptism and he asked if I would like to be baptized then, provided I felt ready by then.  This question was OUT OF NOWHERE (well, not really, the church tour ended with us standing right there at the font) and September 13th was WAY TOO SOON (it was July 29th now) but I said, “Well…if I was ready…then…yes?”  (Hahaha.)

If this was a novel (which I’m sorry it’s looking to become) then that would be the end of Part One.

 

Part Two

Elder Kilpatrick’s mission ended that same week, and Elder Wardle took his place.  Interestingly enough, I first met Elder Wardle outside Brother McConeghey’s car just before we all headed over to Nauvoo for the afternoon to tour the Temple grounds and see the pageant.  This was on Thursday, just four days after I first went to church.

I continued to meet with Elder Brooks and Elder Wardle and sure enough on September 13th I was baptized (!!!).  I was soooo nervous, because my parents were there, as well as my aunt and uncle and three friends.  I have had mixed support from everyone.  But at least they came to the baptism.  And some came to church the next morning for the confirmation as well!

So that’s my story.  It of course goes on, up through the present day, and is filled with temple trips and a calling and a talk and institute class; new friends, new perspectives, and a newfound faith in Christ.  A few weeks after I was baptized, my parents and I went on a road trip to New England, and I requested a stop in Palmyra to go to the Sacred Grove and Temple.  It was pretty epic.  Elder Brooks was transferred while I was gone (sad day).  But Elder Belliston came and took his place.  I am still meeting weekly with him and Elder Wardle.  I gave a 5 minute talk on Gratitude the week of Thanksgiving.  I was called to serve with the Young Women.  (I taught my first lesson in there today!)  I am reading the Book of Mormon, albeit very slowly as I tend to get distracted (but how can I not, what with all those cross references??) and I am pretty much being as active as I can.  Oh!  I joined the choir two weeks ago!

And this may or may not be completely unrelated to my conversion, but I decided this summer to go back to college after a resentful 4 year hiatus to finish up my bachelor’s degree, which I just completed this month!  Upcoming plans include [the tentative idea of] moving to Utah to find a husband (haha) and a job.

You might be interested to hear my testimony of sorts.  

I feel like my entire conversion happened so smoothly.  And also so randomly.  I was not seeking.  I was not looking to join a church.  The idea completely randomly – even jokingly – came into my mind.  I feel like the only way to explain it is that it was God’s timing.  And He gave me each new step, and I took it.  (Which is also so unlike me.  I am so shy, why would I ever go to a church, let alone all by myself?!)  And then He set the next step.  And I took it.  And He’s still setting them, and I’m still taking them.  And thus far, I love it.  I absolutely love it.  The gospel is amazing.  The love that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for all of us is amazing.  I am so, so glad I know about this Church and the restored gospel and that love.  It has changed my perspective on the world, my priorities.  I am so much more grateful.  And confident.  And so much more at peace with existence and the mysteries of life after death, etc.

A couple years ago, I became interested in Christianity, and I read the Bible, but I had so many questions, and so much of what I read on various Christian blogs didn’t make sense.  (Like, why can’t we still have prophets today?  And what about people who never learn about Christ before they die?)  After a few months, the gaps and contradictions were too much and I figured it couldn’t be true, so I stopped praying and went back to atheism.  

Who knows where I would be now if I never watched your videos.  It was the light your whole family has that intrigued me so much.  The pure love that you express so openly with one another.  The kindness you have extended to strangers throughout the vlogs.  And the general calm and confident and uplifted outlook you share with us.  All of which is so rare these days and shines so brightly in comparison.  I love you guys so much and I have learned so much about love and family from you.  Colette, you are an inspirational wife and mother.  The kids amaze me.  Their selflessness.  I don’t even know how one raises kids to be so giving and so mature.  (Gavin is seriously more mature than I am – hah!)  You’re all such a delight to watch and I feel so good knowing that I’m watching something wholesome and uplifting.  I’ve also found your other channels and family’s channels through you guys, and they’re all so great.

I wish you guys the best and I have the utmost respect for you.  Thank you so, so, so much for making your videos, and for not being afraid to be your awesome selves.

It was you guys being such a loving and happy family, and sharing what you had talked about in church those days, that first got me interested in the Church.  So just know that it does good.  It puts good into the world when you talk about it.  And if it affected me, I don’t know how many others it must also affect.  Keep sharing it.  I know some people get down on you in the comments for it.  But it’s just not their time.  Yet.  

I’m so, so grateful that it was mine.

I love you, Shaytards <3.

Brianna

@briannaeason